Module 4
It’s Not What They’re Saying, It’s What You Think They’re Saying
In an argument the defensive person tend to feels what their partner expresses as a personal attack on them. They react forcefully because they feel like they're experiencing a character assassination. But most of the time, the argument/issue is not about you as a person!
Journalling Moment
When you and your partner row, what do you believe they are telling you about yourself? Because chances are when a row begins you're already primed to react in a way that isn’t about what they are going to say. It is about something else, and that something else is what the Defensive person feels about themselves.
Understand that usually the statement or criticism is not a personal attack, it's just a highly-charged way of trying to communicate with you. However, did you know that a request lies within any complaint? Try and find the request your partner was trying to make during your last row.
