Module 1
Journalling Moment
Give yourself time to work through things in your own head. Go back to the most recent row with your partner - can you identify how you reacted? Use the list below to help you.
Here are some traits of defensive Behaviour. do you recognise any of these when you row?
Now review the lists below, based on what you have journalled, note down any or all that apply to you.
When Someone Requests Something Of You, Do You:
Pushback- Behave badly
- Respond with anger
- Roll your eyes, sigh or laugh
- Call them names
- Personal attack
- Imitate them or tease them
- Resort to Tit-for-Tat
What’s Behind Your Defensiveness?
You defend yourself because
- You feel overwhelmed
- You feel personally attacked
- You feel ambushed
- You feel the request is unfair
- You feel the request is unreasonable
- You're Made To Feel Like The Naughty Boy/Girl
- You Feel Like You're Always Being Picked On
When Does Your Defensiveness Occur?
Which of these wind you up when your partner wants to discuss them?
- Time keeping/lateness
- Forgetting dates
- Housework/Household chores
- Going out with friends
- Talking about the relationship and how it is working for you both
- Arranging time alone together/requests for more closeness
- Moving through a difficult time
- Parenting/Parental Duties
Journalling Moment
What sort of things not included above does your partner want to talk about and how does it make you feel when they want to talk about them?
